Relationship Comments

Friendship means a lot to me. As I was growing up, I spent a lot of my time with my friends and they have played a huge role in getting me to where I’m today. It is also special as it is the first relationship that we get to choose, we don’t get to choose our parents, siblings and relatives. This blog post is my take on this relationship. This is just one of my perspectives and I’m sure there are plenty others out there - so take it with a pinch of salt.


I believe there are 2 types of friends. The first type are people with whom you hangout frequently - friends whom you can just call and go out for any event or activity and with whom you discuss the news, share your interests and gossip about other people. The second type are the people whom you don’t necessarily hangout frequently but people who are plugged in, know who you are and are aware of what’s happening to you. This does not necessarily mean every little detail but I mean the big moments - the happy ones and maybe even a few sad ones.

A better way to understand this is to ask yourself the question -

What’s the easiness with which you can have a honest but difficult conversation with your friend?

A good friend of mine shared this wonderful post about Difficult Conversations. I don’t think I can define it any better -

It takes courage to accept what you feel..
as you are often riddled with self doubt about whether it is justified.

It takes courage to be open about your feelings..
as common practice is to subordinate them for social acceptance.

It takes courage to sit a friend down and express your dissatisfaction at something he/she is doing..
as common practice would mean getting back at him/her.

It takes tremendous courage to vent out your frustrations at the risk of upsetting another person..
as the ‘easy’ path would be to try and sweep those frustrations under the carpet.

After all, strength comes not from hiding weakness, but from accepting weakness and acting on it.
There are times when people you love make you proud by showing tremendous courage. Celebrate it.. shout it out..

I sure am.

Every friendship starts as the first type. As you spend more time and get comfortable, you tend to share thoughts, ideas and perspectives that you’re not comfortable sharing with a lot of people. I’m not saying that in these friendships you’ll always be having these difficult conversations but when you do feel like sharing, is there a hesitation or do you feel comfortable?

I’ve enjoyed a lot of these conversations over the years with a few friends for a couple of reasons. It helps me understand them - their thoughts, perspectives from which I was able to learn and grow. It also helps me understand myself - my strengths and weaknesses. And the best part about this is that it gets easier as the relationship grows.

Happy Friendship day :)

Kaushik Rangadurai

Code. Learn. Explore

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