Honesty is Freedom
We all have been in situations where we chose to lie and in some of those situations we might have even felt that it was the right thing to do. While I do agree that there are situations where the benefits of lying outweighs those telling the truth but they’re far fewer than we think. This blog post is about two common justifications we give ourselves when we lie -
Just this one time - And it is always just this one time. Consider a scenario where your manager comes and asks if you know JavaScript (a programming language). In order to impress your manager, you lie and you get the project. After a week, you still haven’t completed the task and to cover up the lie, you blame it on another colleague, say David, saying that David didn’t get you the design needed for the JavaScript work. You stop talking to David and soon you’ve just told about a dozen lies and lost credibility with both David and your manager.
The more honest one is, the easier it is to continue being honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more necessary it is to lie again.
A final note on lying - as you’ve got to keep track what you’ve said to whom, it takes a toll on you mentally.
I’m not lying, just hiding the truth - This one is really tricky - they’re harder to detect and even harder to confront. As a result, I feel they’re even more common and harmful than actual lying.
I was brought up in a typical middle class family in India. Hence, we always had to spend the money judiciously. As I entered my early teens, my parents could have completely hid the financial situation from me. They could have even justified by saying that I was still too young and not mature to accept the situation. There are 2 possibilities here when they hide the situation -
- I’ll eventually find out things myself based on their actions totally defeating their purpose of hiding the truth.
- I don’t find out things but I spend more money than what they expect and I get scolded for that. Both my parents and I think the other person is being unreasonable - there’s just tension in the family.
One final note on withholding the truth - it is hard to be your authentic self. You’re going to be making decisions not based on your personal interests but completely based on other’s presence, words and actions.
This finally brings us to being open and honest. I also include openness here - The purpose of this to be direct with your communication and not hint at the truth. In the above situation, my parents not only told the truth but they involved me in the entire situation. I was involved in the monthly budget sessions and I believe this has made be a better person in handling money.
Honesty gives you the freedom to grow.
Honesty gives you the freedom to build stronger relationships.
Honesty enables you to stop hiding and be yourself.
Kaushik Rangadurai
Code. Learn. Explore