Givers and Takers
When a friend comes and asks you for information, how you’d respond most of the time determines your reciprocity style -
- Givers are happy to share the information without expecting anything in return.
- Matchers would help only if they expect something in return.
- Takers guard their information and think that they are at an advantage over their friends.
We all have been givers, matchers and takers in different situations in our lives. This blog post is about learning the difference between Givers and Takers.
- A taker’s mentality is usually - What’s in it for me?.
- A giver’s mentality is usually - I’d be happy to help and I don’t expect anything in return.
- Takers favor values like wealth (money and material possessions), power (dominance and control over others) and winning (doing better than others).
- Givers favor values like Helpfulness (working for the well-being of others), Responsibility (being dependable), Social Justice (caring for disadvantaged) and Compassion (responding to the needs of others).
Self-focused vs Other-Focused
- Takers are self-focused and always put their own interests ahead of others.
- Givers are other-focused and always think what others need from them.
Short-Term vs Long-Term
- Takers think short-term - their main focus is on winning short-term even if it comes at some long-term cost like relationship health.
- Givers think long-term - they are willing to let go of short-term wins if it is good for the long-term.
How they see the world
- Takers believe that the world is a competitive, dog-eats-dog place. They feel that success is being better than others.
- Givers don’t see life as a zero-sum game and believe we all can help each other win our own game.
How others see them
- Takers are good fakers - extremely friendly in the short-term but cunning and selfish in the long-term.
- Givers are stereotyped as chumps or doormats.
- Takers follow a win-lose strategy. When takers win, someone else loses.
- Givers try to optimize for a win-win strategy. When givers win, everybody else wants them to win.
How they treat others
- Takers kiss up and kick down.
- Givers are very friendly to those in need of help.
- Givers are very common in marriages and close friendships.
- Takers are very common.
source - Give and Take
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